Saturday, October 11, 2008

I have a confession to make...

My parents came here for a week long visit last month. They live in Albuquerque. I get to see them maybe four times a year. They are very involved with my kids. They are also very loving, supportive parents. Unfortunately, our visit didn't go as well as I had hoped.

I'm very sensitive, overly so sometimes. God has a funny sense of humor. See, knowing me from the womb, He put me in the care of my mom. Now, I don't take back what I've said about my mom, she's great. Have you ever seen "Joy Luck Club"? Yes, she is Chinese, and she has her own way about her. She's concerned and caring and this sometimes comes off as critical, in my overly sensitive mind, anyhow.

A comment she made while here last month took things on a bad turn. So, I'm hoping that with our visit this week to Albuquerque, I can start to make things right again. I feel like I let myself down and God down, as well. So, this is a "do over" of sorts.

There are many things I have to remember. I have to realize she is who she is and I won't change that. She does have the best of intentions, she just has a different way of presenting them. I have to remember that this is a woman who struggles to have a relationship with her own mother. My mom was raised primarily by her grandmother. Finally, I have to realize that the relationship I have with her has to be the relationship that I want to have with MY children when they are adults.

I'm confident with prayer and patience this will all work out. I probably won't have much time to post in the next week.


SmallWorld at Home said...

I can so empathize with you. I love my mother dearly, but I often felt (and sometimes, still feel) like a failure after we've been together. August's visit had some very low points. Even though I can logically think, "She is under a lot of stress," I still emotionally feel distressed and confused. I will say that the older I get, the better our relationship gets. (And I am 42, and she is 81!!)

It's funny how we give our mothers a way out. You say yours in Chinese, so that explains a lot. I say mine is Depression-era, so that explains a lot. It's all a learning experience: being a mom, being a daughter. Exhausting, isn't it?

lavendergardener said...

I'm so excited you guys are coming to town! I also have an empty spare bedroom if space is needed. I'll be praying it's not...Call me!